Downtime - What I Do Offline to Recharge

Every once a while we all feel a spell of blankness and that feeling that your infatuation with writing is over, especially when writing a blog post, and trust me, it’s very common – and a little too common in me. Normally you’d be tired but mostly even though you’re fresher than a housefly, something’s barricading your thoughts from fanning out. Like I said before, it’s very common and very natural. So what could you do when you’re having one of these downtime moments? Here are a few things that I do and really help me bring in some fresh thoughts to mind.

·         Have a break: Yes, you deserve it! Forcing yourself to write is not at all going to help. Go out and enjoy a night out with your friends and more importantly have fun! There’s no point if you’re out and still stuck pondering over your halted blog. Trust me, it’s all temporary.

·         Watch some T.V: It’s always great to get you’re noggin energized and revitalized. And what better than some useful telly watching could there be to achieve this task?

·         Read: Even though the title’s vague, it doesn’t mean you sit all day long and read the back of a shampoo bottle. What I meant was, to read something different, a novel perhaps or even your favourite magazine. This will help enhance your thought process and bring creative ideas into mind.

·         Treat yourself to a tasty dinner: Believe it or not, but eating well really helps your brain juices to flow, thus increasing brain and thought productivity.

·         Interact: Talk to someone, discuss emerging affairs and news, argue, do everything that helps you think!

·         Doze off: Relaxing and falling into a cluster of dreams is vital if you’re looking to carry on. If the greatest of machines need a rest, as do we. It takes time recharging the worn out powerhouse and before you know it you’re already fresh with new ideas.

So there you have it, that’s what I do when my brain is on a standstill and yes it’s proven (on me in fact). Try them on yourself and see which ones help you. Glad this could be of help.

25 Funniest Résumé Bloopers

So to wedge my brain open and let fresh new ideas in, I decided to Google some humor sites and blogs and see if any of them inspire me. They Didn’t. Instead I’m taking the coward’s way and simply sharing something I found extremely hilarious. With a little manipulation and editing (just trying to make it sound fancy really) I made a list of the Top 25 Résumé Bloopers. All of them were so darn comical that I had trouble removing some from the original list. And trust me, these DID happen. Turns out people are actually a little nonsensical when it comes out to the basics of Résumé Writing. Anyways, enjoy. :)

Warning: Do Not Try Them! They're guaranteed To Cost You Your Job!                          

These were a few mentioned:

1. Job Duties: “Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors.”

2. Favourite Activities: “Playing trivia games. I am a repository of worthless knowledge.”

3. Experience: “Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting.”

4. Experience: “ I'm a hard worker, etc..”

5. Languages: “Speak English and Spinach."

6. Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”

7. Skills: “I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.”

8. Objective: “To hopefully associate with a millionaire one day.”

9. Skills: “I have technical skills that will take your breath away.”

10. Qualifications: “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”

11. Objective: “I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entrée consisting of more than soup.”

12. Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”

13. Experience: “Have not yet been abducted by aliens.”

14. Education: “Have repeated courses repeatedly.”

15. Salary requirements: “The higher the better.”

16. Bad traits: “I am very bad about time and don’t mind admitting it. Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn't make sense to me. What does make sense is that I do the job. Any company that insists upon rigid time schedules will find me a nightmare.”

17. References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers.”

18. Work experience: “Two years as a blackjack and baccarat dealer. Strong emphasis on customer relations – a constant challenge considering how much money people lose and how angry they can get.”

19. Accomplishments: “Brought in a balloon artist to entertain the team.”

20. Application: Why should an employer hire you? “I bring doughnuts on Friday.”

21. Reason for leaving: “Pushed aside so the vice president’s girlfriend could steal my job.”

22. Reason for leaving last job: “Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state.”

23. Objective: “To become Overlord of the Galaxy!”

24. Awards: “National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes.”

25. Work experience: “Responsibilities included checking customers out.”

A Bizarrely Hilarious Moment

Before I begin let me just wind up my laughter... Okay, I'm set. Now this wasn't too long ago, four days to be precise and still when I think of it I laugh till I flood my eyes with tears. Yeah, it was THAT hilarious!

So my two cousins, Sadat and Humza, and I were going to our Aunt's place for dinner. And since it was night-time and bitter cold, I had to save the pair from freezing to death by opting to drive the bike. Here’s the scenario. I was driving; Humza was in the middle and Sadat at the back. The deal was that my Aunt had recently moved into this new house and neither Humza nor I had been there. So that left out Sadat who knew the way, and not very well I tell you (you'll find out why in a moment).

Three people riding on one motorbike is illegal here and going from one Cantonment area to another didn't really help either. Not to mention the two were practically miles apart and getting there at night was a tough task as the highway was under-construction. So every time I had a chance to go there, I'd be surprised by a new road and wouldn't know which one to choose. The same happened that day. Sadat faintly remembered the way and the night time coupled with the new roads blurred his remembrance further.

After nearly an hour of going back and forth and switching lanes, we finally managed to get onto the right road and managed to enter Phase 8 of the Defense Cantonment area (where my aunt lives). Sadat has always been more of a self-conscious bloke. He's always nervous going out in public without triple checking what he's wearing and how he's looking. And this time was no different.

My aunt had invited a 'respectable' family too and Sadat thought that if they saw us three on one bike, It'd ruin our first impression on them. So he told me to stop the bike before we reach the house and he'll walk. Fair enough. But I was going to bug him and not stop the bike but at the front gate. He kept reminding me, and when the house was only a few meters away he shouted, "Ramish stop the bike, Stop it already!” And no he wasn't angry, just very very terrified of anyone catching a glimpse of us three.

A few seconds later the handle of my bike vibrated terribly but I managed to control it and moments later I heard Humza burst into a gigantic heap of laughter. He caught hold of me while still howling and trying to regain his breath and said "Sadat jumped off!" and continued laughing maniacally.

Disbelief overtook me and I didn't know whether to laugh or go back and check if he was alright. I punched the brakes in hard and looked back. There he was, sitting on the hard gravel-lain ground and I couldn't help but laugh hysterically too. Humza and I were exploding our diaphragms with hard chuckles and Sadat was still on the floor a few feet away.

Ignition off, and we ran towards him whilst still trying manage our merriment. He was in some pain and that was even funnier. Humza and I just lost it. We held onto each other just so that we don’t fall down laughing. That’s when Sadat said, “I don’t know whether to swear at you two for laughing, or at myself for jumping”. Soon he got up and we came to know that although his injuries were minor but were hurting a lot! I was going around 50 km/hr at the time he jumped so he must’ve had a bad fall. Turned out, if it wasn't for the seat support at the back, he would have made a ‘perfect’ landing. Or so he claims.

Later, everyone at my Aunt’s house found out about this incident but there was one question that Humza and I constantly wondered about (and still do) i.e. “What in God’s name was going on inside his head when he jumped?” This was a first for all of us. Oh and I didn’t go unpunished either. The next two days I had to feed Sadat as his hands were bruised and cut.


So yes, in the end we all learned a lesson. Sadat now knows that jumping from a speeding bike will hurt him. I learned to listen to Sadat when riding a bike or else he'll just end up doing something really stupid and I'll have to, somehow, feed him for the next two days. And as for Humza, well.. He can do without a lesson.